A Bit bout me

I’m Tracey I live round the corner from Jo; we met last year through a fantastic person ‘Matty’ r.i.p.  His death brought us closer   as we supported each other through.

I have three kids Marissa, Jack and Imogen and a beautiful granddaughter Morgan (porgy).

It was during this time Jo told me about Billy ( I call him Billy bops) that  he has ADHD like I say I knew nothing about ADHD, to me he was  a cheeky kid  who played his mum up!  I remember one incident in them early days I’d been calling in for a brew one morning a Jo told me That Billy was wearing her out and she was shattered and that that she was also waiting for tests to see if she also had ADHD so her head was burnt out (my way of saying stressed to the max)   I gave a general offer which I meant and will always mean! If she wanted bill to stay at mine at any time to give her a break just to say (for some reason bill wears a halo then!) .sod

Later in the week Bill is knocking on my door telling me Jo had battered him and kicked him out could he stay Lol. He had actually been giving Jo grief and she had sent him to his room where the little sod(understatement) had then climbed out of his window and ran to mine.

My first taste of what Bill could be like. Jo was in the process of telephoning the police when I let her know he was with me. First I thought lil  ******  fancy telling me lies he was crying and so convincing although I knew that  him being  a kid  there was going to be some fibs and also  Jo I knew you  couldn’t  have battered him like he was describing  because  he wouldn't have been  able to walk! Lol

My thoughts were take his personal stuff off him for a punishment playstation works for my kids!!  There’s the first difference I realise although it seems to me he is just being naughty he isn’t! He just doesn't know where the stopping line is?  Jack in comparison does (but he isn't ADHD) first step in a huge learning curve for me.

I am trying so hard not to sound condescending I am trying to be as honest as I can so perhaps anyone reading this and my comparisons will see the difference. It is how I am learning about ADHD and why I offered to write this.

I must make Jo laugh sometimes with the look of horror on  my face  when bill has done something  and sometimes he makes me laugh so much I have to hide my face  because I shouldn't be laughing as I know it can make him worse when he feels he has an audience.

I’ve also noticed then when he gets too much praise for doing well he acts up also, so it is a fine line that you tread when dealing with Billy.  He can get jealous if his brother Thi or sister Kay gets some attention off Jo and poor Jo has to deal with the constant watching and balancing act of keeping all kids happy.

You might think well surely most mums with more than one kid have the same balancing act to keep up, believe me when I say it’s different with an ADHD child in the room!!  When my daughter Marissa was thirteen I could reasonably leave her for an hour with Jack and Immy sometimes world war three would break out over a T.V. programme at worst,  You couldn’t leave Billy for five mins with  his sister  or brother  you couldn't give him the responsibility.  That isn't to say he would be nasty too them but he would abuse his authority as the eldest and because he is ADHD it would be pushed to the max (no stopping line).

Billy is one top kid he has got such a comical sense of humour, he should be on stage believe me he could hold his own!!  I seem to have painted Billy in a bad way and that most certainly isn’t the case he just has his moments.  He is so helpful around the house he likes washing up (mum says that’s because its is something quiet he can focus on ) I believe her,  give Billy a word search book or one of them suduko books and you wont hear peep out of him for hours .

This is where I am going to get on my soap box now:-

Billy was invited to leave his mainstream school as he was disruptive in class, you have a chat with him and he will tell you he was bored!  I was called into school  Marissa my eldest 13 at the time  and ironically at the same school was being disruptive in class  I investigated the reason why with Marissa  she told me she was bored.  I mentioned this to the head of year and suggested that she be given extra work during classroom time in order to keep her very intelligent mind occupied and thus stop her disrupting her peers who were quite rightly struggling to concentrate. This wasn't possible I was told as then she would then proceed through the scheduled year too fast. (My opinion holding her back)  The same happened with Billy only to my disgust yes disgust he was asked to leave and attend a school for naughty boys! Why is that?  Is it because he is ADHD??  Why not give him extra work he also has a fantastically intelligent brain, they gave Marissa permission to do any homework that had been set in other subjects if she found she had completed her tasks during class.

I will tell you why that is, there is not enough known about  ADHD in the first place and Teachers are most certainly not taught enough about  ADHD  to help them deal  with an ADHD  child  so automatically  they are classed as naughty and disruptive and dismissed as if they are academically challenged. Most teachers are scared of ADHD children because they can recognise that higher intelligence within them that the teachers simply cant or don’t know to deal with.

Billy is now in the process of returning to mainstream school, you see he simply wasn’t enough of a bad lad to warrant being there and I am glad that they realised that before he really did pick up bad ways, some of the other lads at that school have police records already.

Marissa if you are Interested went on to become pregnant at

Fifteen!  (I didn't realise she was that bored!) and joined a special unit for school girl mothers and within three months of attending this smaller school where you can work at your own pace she had been entered for GCSE Maths, English Lit, and Science one whole year early yes she passed is now retaking them for better grades starting  college to do Forensics in September ! Oh yeah she also did this whilst being pregnant and struggling with a baby. I wish school teachers would sort them selves out and realise where they go wrong lol!